A LIGHTHEARTED HISTORY OF THE HONEYMOON IN SPAIN

There are almost as many theories about the origin of the expression "honeymoon" as there are varieties of honey. The one we find most amusing relates that in ancient Rome it was customary for the mother of the bride to take the newlyweds a jug of honey every night so they could recover their strength, and that this sweet although unexciting intrusion in the nuptial chamber, more appropriate to a bearkeeper than a mother-in-law, went on for a "moon", that is a month. If this were true, it is hardly surprising that, in ancient times, the pair of love birds would have decided to abandon the nest at the first opportunity, putting a few miles between them and the jar lady.

As this was taking place in the warm Mediterranean, in Northern Europe they were snatching girls caveman style, hiding out with them in a secret spot that only the best friend -the best man- knew about, and from which they didn't come out until the families of the abducted said their 'I do's'; apparently the girls had no say in the matter. It is said that in those same barbaric places, on the Jutland peninsula, during the time of the Teutons, huge quantities of "honey wine" would be consumed during the first moon or month of marriage in order to conceive a male child. It was assumed that this alcoholic brew, made from water and honey, was an aphrodisiac, certainly a better one than the Roman mothers-in-law. Whatever the origin of the honeymoon, what matters is that we now have our newly-weds, forced or willingly, seated on a cart with the 'Just Married' sign and a string of pots and pans trailing behind, and we still don't know where we are headed.

In 1910 Ursula Sanchez, starred in the shortest, most austere and unexplainable honeymoon ever. A native of Santorcaz, a small village of Madrid bordering the Alcarria de Guadalajara, she got on a donkey with her brand new husband and went to spend their honeymoon in Anchuelo, another small village located just 4 kilometers away. There was nothing at all there save a column that had been struck by lightning killing someone called Pedro Chivo and his horse. This is a clear case of 'in good times and in bad', or 'bread and porridge', which was eaten (and still is) in Anchuelo. And if the Law of Thomas doesn't lie about the Happiness of Marriage ('the duration of a marriage is inversely proportional to the amount of money spent on the wedding'), we can deduce that they were extraordinarily happy.

Almost a century later, statistics have shown that each newly married Spanish couple spends an average of 4,500 € on the honeymoon, second in importance only to the cost of the wedding reception (19,000€) and more important than even the wedding gown, which, with all its accessories, costs about 2,000 €. We would like to be able to say that those three quarter of a million of the old pesetas are invested in exploring distant lands such as Alaska or Mongolia, but the truth is that newlyweds travel in hoards to Cancun, Puma Cana, Varadero, such predictable, common and worn-out places that make even Anchuelo, with its touristless simplicity, look exotic to us. Another modern variation of the conventional honeymoon, this one originating in the United States, is the so called 'procreation vacation', a tourist package thought of for couples anxiously wanting to have a baby, where massages, stimulating beverages and a lot of relaxation, as well as, of course, a bit of cooperation on the couple's part, all come into play. And there are those that, eager to indefinitely prolong the tender moments and whims of the 'honeymoon', sign up for the 'baby-moon', the last trip before giving birth, that includes prenatal gifts, special prenatal beauty treatments and the so called 'womb service' menus, which mainly consists in the future mother giving in to all her food cravings.

While on the subject of prolonging honeymoons, nobody can compete with Eeneko Echebarrieta and Miyuki Okabe. Eneko, a native of Vitoria, met Miyuki, Japanese, in Brazil while on what ended up being a 4 year bicycle trip around the world. Upon their return to Vitoria they were married. Instead of looking for a serious job, they bought a tandem bicycle and, after managing to get their project 'Bringing the World Together' included in the United Nations Millennium Campaign, they once again began pedaling around the potbellied globe on a trip that to date has already taken them two and a half years and which isn't due to finish until 2015, a tremendous trip which is also the longest honeymoon in history.

Whether taking a trip around the planet or staying put, nobody wants their honeymoon to end, for it is a once in a lifetime experience. As Noel Carazo said, 'The honeymoon is the happiest time in a marriage; the bad thing is that, in order to repeat it, some very unpleasant things must happen'.

(acknowledgements to "La Revista de Paradores de Turismo")